Thursday, September 29, 2011

Struggles

How can we live life without struggles? We can't!! Why do I feel discouraged when all I want to do is encourage others! Life, I think God finds way to bring us back to him. I think God works in us to help us develop experiences so we can help others. I may come across as smiley and always cheery, well, maybe not real lately, but I am trying to help others by being ME. I am not perfect!!!!! I am not smiley, happy, loving, cheery all the time! I struggle, I have screwed up! I am broken!!! But the awesome thing about being broken is God uses broken people!!! God can use ME! Little old insignificant ME!!! I am ready!!
God can use me, all of me!! He can use my depression, my broken and restored friendships, my daughter's stroke and Cerebral Palsy, custody disputes, my failed classes, court cases, my divorce papers, my drinking binges, my loneliness, my anger, my rape~ to help other people. Wow, that was a difficult list to put out there!! Please don't judge me! I know I screwed up! I know I have my part in ALL my mistakes and failures. I know I am forgiven! And I have forgiven others! Forgiveness is a HUGE part of the healing process!! I have hit the pit of complete and utter despair, I have climbed back up to be knocked down again! Some might ask why would God do that? Well, God DID NOT but He sure did make good out of the horrible!! God is Good!! God is faithful!! When I am alone in this world, I am not alone!!! I struggle with believing in all the components of Christianity sometimes. Can all this really be real? But as I look back I see how GOD held me, God was there when no human was, God heals, God loves, God is there for me and YOU!!!! I am too!! I am putting myself out in the open so I can help others!! Contact me if you want to talk! Obviously, some topics are harder than others, you may have never know all this about me, but I will work on being open and honest. You will see the true me!! I do not speak well in person, I guess my brain can not configure words, so I keep quiet! So, please don't take offense if I don't talk to you the same in person as here!! This is the real me!!! I love you!! I am praying for you!!! Thank you for taking the time to read me!!! :)

2 comments:

  1. Wow! That's quite a list. All of us have those LONG lists of brokenness. The great thing about yours (and you) is that you are open and honest and are using your experiences to help others. You are EXACTLY right...God CAN use you. Best of all...you're letting Him.

    Keep letting God use you. I am always amazed at how you genuinely open yourself up to pray for people. That takes guts!

    Don't let people make you feel inferior or phony...keep being YOU! :)

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  2. I never said Thank you Lidy! :-)

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