Monday, June 6, 2011

crying

Today I cried!  I sobbed!!  They were tears of relief!!!  Tears of a weigth lifted!  I won't have to breastfeed forever!!  Don't get me wrong I LOVE and ENJOY breastfeeding, but the thought of not knowing if it was going to be another, 2 months, or 6 months or over a year of exculsive breastfeeding, just brings exhaustion!!  Today after therapy Katie drank 2 ounces from  a straw cup, with consecutive swallows and kept it all down!!!!!!!  It was at therapy, just after session, I was overwhelmed, but didn't brag too much there because nearby there was a little 3 year old girl who couldn't even sit up independently.  So, I told her therapist and left and called her dad!!!  Then the tears came, to the store, to the bank and all the way home.  Just relief that she will be able to drink from a cup at some point soon, regularly.  At lunch some came back out and some went down, an improvement over most or nearly all coming back out!!!  So, she hasn't mastered it, but she is capable!!!!  Katie is amazing!!  I just felt God was telling me, "See you can't control this, no matter how hard you try, you can't make her drink.  That's between Me and her! Trust ME!!"  So, God I will trust you!!  I trust you with my most precious treasures, my 3 children!!  They each need You!!  I trust you with my finances!!  I do not know how we made it this far, but You will continue to provide!!!  I trust You!!  You will give the strength, time and energy to give to others, to show Your Love, to spread Your Name!  May You be given the Glory!!  Thank you Lord!!!  Thank you friends for your prayers and kind words of encouragement!!!  Thank You!!  I have no words to express my deep gratitude to you!! Thank you!!!